“The Real Valley of the Dolls,” by Tom Robbins, reminded me of my grandfather, who told “off-color” jokes while keeping them acceptable for a “society mixed”. Robbins and two of his friends, Alexa and Jon, take the reader on a journey somewhere between Winnemucca and Las Vegas "right in the middle of the American Wild West" (509) in a short story that oscillates between humor and spirituality, the respectful and the libidinous, the distant and not so distant past. “The Real Valley of the Dolls” refers to North Canyon, which Robbins describes as “rather vaginal in shape, ending in a sunken pool.” . . those who wish could read uterus or womb”, decorated with petroglyphs, also known as the Canyon of the Vaginas. Robbins explains the different types of petroglyphs in the Western United States: "Some of them are ceremonial in intent, some are mnemonic, some are totemic (clan symbols), and some are apparently t -he, are only an explosion of pleasant scribbles” (510). Although glyphs depicting vaginas are not limited to Vagina Canyon, "they are not found at any other site in such concentration or profusion" (511). It is not just the petroglyphs that attract people here, but also a spiritual connection to the Earth and a strong connection to the past. Robbins' choice of words is more sophisticated than slang. At first glance the essay may seem slightly bawdy, Robbin's allusion to "sacred real estate" and "being layered" (510) provides an interesting play on words. Much of the essay is filled with polar opposites, different metaphors for west-central Nevada; "The present clashes with the past, development clashes with nature, repression versus indulgence, reality versus dream, masculine versus feminine, the Goddess of Destruction versus the...... middle of paper.. .... Why ? Why did the Shoshone “adorn the solar gate of the high desert of Nevada” with images of what some might call the center of female power? Was it, as Robbins suggests, “purely sexual, an exciting tingle of individual desire.” or are some of his other ideas closer to reality? as a (place for) “a coming-of-age ritual, a fertility motel, or a tribute to the feminine principle of the Earth itself”” (511)? Perhaps the natural formation of the “Queen of the Yoni”. . . the great-grandmother of vaginas” inspired Native Americans to honor her with glyphs. The answers may remain a mystery, as will why old guys don't take off their hats. Are we so far from "nature and those forces that our ancestors knew intimately but rarely named", if we do not have a place to connect our "hormones to the stars" from which we risk becoming psychological paraplegics?” (513)?