I first had a broken relationship with a college freshman, Jaysen. We'd been talking on and off for months when I finally broke up and started dating another guy. Months passed and I never heard from him. I thought maybe the distance would be good for us and we would meet again someday. One day came April 4th. I had just gotten off work and he called me. When I answered the phone, he was sobbing. He told me that he had been depressed for some time and had attempted suicide twice at the moment. He told me that now that he had talked to me, he knew he could do it. At this point I was in complete disbelief and didn't know what to say to him. So he told me it was my fault, but he loved me and then hung up. Minutes later, he shot himself in the mouth with a rifle. I carried the weight of the world on my shoulders for days. I had never felt so guilty in my entire life and on top of that I had post-traumatic stress disorder. Because I was so depressed about Jaysen's death, my boyfriend at the time broke up with me because he was too sad and my friends stopped talking to me because they didn't know what to do.