What do you do when you've lost everything you once knew and loved and your life is falling apart like a broken puzzle? What I do is run to an island in the deepest regions of my brain, where I am invisible to the rest of the world. What have I lost? You could say I lost my heart, or maybe I just forgot where I put it. It all started last spring, right after my birthday on April 3rd. What happened? You might ask. It was the end of something magical; Well, at least I thought so. I was sitting on the edge of my bed in my brownstone apartment in Baltimore, Maryland, holding the box in my hand. “How am I going to propose?” I thought to myself as I looked at my grandmother's diamond engagement ring. This whole marriage thing was getting to my head. I wanted the proposal to be as special as she imagined. I was hesitant about getting married but Janine had been waiting a long time for me to ask her and I wanted to be romantic about it. I wanted Janine to remember it for the rest of our lives together. Marriage was always a strong thought for me in the past, but when I realized that I was with the one I loved, this thought made me happy. After six years of dating and fifteen months together, it was time for us to get married, I guess. Two years ago, she approached me about marriage and told me that she didn't want to wait any longer and didn't want to be in her 40s when she had children. I told him I needed time because I wasn't ready yet, so I suggested the idea of ​​moving in. Since then, she's been waiting for me to be ready, I just hoped she hadn't abandoned me. We both met in college when we were eighteen and ended up dating a year later. I remember the exact moment; I arrived late for my work... in the middle of paper ...... told her, she was forcing me to marry her; it just wasn't right.* * *It's two weeks later and I just had my second date with Anna last night. I'm really starting to like it. I met her through a colleague. She's wonderful and I think we got along great. I took her to this Italian restaurant located in the inner harbor, overlooking the water. It was the pleasant beginning of a noble friendship. I decided to take it slow and not get too serious at first. There was no agenda or special plans for the future. I never thought that this person was mine even though I adored him with great passion. I was enjoying what had just begun. For the first time in my love life, especially since Janine's death, fear and apprehension no longer ruled my life. I barely recognized myself. The pieces of life that I once loved and appreciated were finally starting to fall back into place.