Self-KnowledgeThis semester, I had the privilege of experiencing unrestricted creativity in a structured writing course. Now, reflecting on the semester, I realize how closed-minded I am. This semester, as a student writer, I was challenged to draw inspiration from something or find inspiration from within to constructively create a masterpiece with words. Often, finding or even harnessing my creative courage was very difficult. Then I realized that as a student writer, I was paralyzed by a concept called decision-making. During a public administration leadership course, I learned something about myself. What I had learned really took me back to all the other structured writing courses I have taken over the years. There is a psychological test called Big-5 Personally Traits that measures an individual's ability to exercise effective leadership. After taking several Big-5 personality tests, I realized that I leaned toward a closed-minded leadership style. Then I had a personal realization about myself regarding my writing. I realized that I had difficulty writing because I am a decision maker and not a problem solver. Throughout my academic career, I was taught the decision-making style of writing, not the problem-solving style. I now understand why I can't paint a detailed masterpiece of brightly colored artwork in other people's minds. Or why I can't dazzle, inspire and move people with my words. Essentially, I have a weak inner voice and am subject to the influence of simply putting words on paper in a way that I hope makes sense. During the journey of life, one of the major trials that I must endure are the external influences that make me become decision makers and not problem solvers. Essentially, I'm locking myself in the middle of a paper...... Dr. Arnold slowly fell under the influence of leaving her job at MD Anderson Cancer Center due to a feeling of hopelessness. Dr. Arnold felt hopeless because she knew there was nothing she could do to prevent her student's death. However, she developed a sense of courage in taking ownership of what she knew. “The children I write with die, no matter how much I love them, no matter how creative they are, no matter how many poems they have written or no matter how much they want to live” (p.29) . By appropriating what I know, my writing will fail. No matter how much time I invest, no matter how provocative I am, no matter how much it tickles the ear, or no matter what stories I want to tell, my writing will fail. However, I know that in failing there is success because I have the courage to progress and not be a victim of these external influences over which I have no control..