“How many years can some people exist before they are allowed to be free... How many times can a man turn head pretending to simply not see? The lyrics of Blowin' in the Wind evoke a painful feeling when our dignity is stifled by unbearable fear. In the short story “On the Rainy River,” Tim O'Brien explores the idea that we cannot follow our hearts in the face of terror. Through his experiences, O'Brien suggests that when our insecurity conflicts with our self-esteem, our moral conscience is often torn into pieces until we have no choice but to accept the unforgiving reality with a desperate heart. A society, a place, an attitude, an expectation --- all contribute to a character's response to threatening forces. Tim's insecurity flares during the Cold War, where the world is divided into two extreme ideologies and "blood [is] shed for uncertain reasons." Tim remains “politically naive” until the day a draft opinion falls into his pocket. He was drafted to “fight a war he [hated]”: the Vietnam War. Confusion, rage, exasperation freeze his mind: Why me? I'm not a hero! I'm so good! I hate wars! But they all blend into a “silent howl” in his head. Tim's summer job at a meatpacking plant allows him to imagine himself as a soldier. “Standing eight hours a day under a shower of lukewarm blood,” holding a huge water gun, he “[removes] blood clots from the necks of dead pigs.” The carcasses and blood conjure up disturbing images of brutal and merciless battles in his mind. His body shivers and sweat runs down his face, as if he is torturing political enemies, and their blood splatters everywhere for absurd reasons. When he returns home, Tim is irritated by the foul smell that "...... middle of paper ...... uh, leaving only a quiet mind to believe that the burden of the life is more important than one's dignity. He manages to overcome his insecurity and accepts the obligation to go to Vietnam. Tim considers himself a coward, a soldier who finds the courage to fight in the "wrong war." Through his own experience, O'Brien develops the idea that self-respect erodes like a pebble in a river of insecurity. Although O'Brien tries to convince himself that he must listen to his conscience, he is unable to remove himself from his burden. He could die in the wrong war! He could become one of the carcasses for the slaughterhouse! But he has to do what he has to do. In life, when we believe our self-respect is right, we are determined to follow our heart. However, when we are faced with oppressive situations, we cannot escape our insecurity, because “[we are] cowards, [we go] to war.”.