In recent years, S&M, or sadomasochism, sexual relations have become more socially accepted due to the popularity of bestselling novels like Fifty Shades of Gray by EL James. Yet even the main character of this novel, Christian Grey, kept his preference for rough sex a secret. Even his lover, Anastasia Steele, has difficulty accepting his sexual preferences, and the relationship ends almost before it begins. Why is this? According to Erich Goode and D. Angus Vail (2008), society has a largely inaccurate understanding of the world of S&M, one in which, among other stereotypes, S&M participants are portrayed as mentally ill, who derive their sexual pleasure from the suffering they inflict. their reluctant partner (Goode and Vail 2008). In an effort to better understand participants in S&M sexual relationships, this article will examine how a person comes to accept the identity of a sexual deviant, as well as the stigmas that accompany accepting that identity. Finally, this article will examine how participants deal with the stigma associated with being a sexual deviant. An S&M glossary defines sadomasochism as “an activity involving the temporary creation of a highly unbalanced power dynamic between two or more people for erotic or semi-erotic purposes” (Apostolides 2008:212). Goode and Vail (2008) argue that S&M is the mutually consensual practice of erotic scenes, designed and described by both parties, during which the illusion of pain symbolizes domination and control. Sadomasochism usually includes partners, a “top” and a “bottom,” or a dominant and a submissive. The responses the submissive partner gives during the scene guide the dominant partner and the main ingredients into a well...... middle of paper ....... Adler and Peter Adler. Belmont, CA: Wadsworth.Adler, Patricia A. and Peter Adler. 2012. “Deviant identity: managing stigma.” 253-256 in Constructions of Deviance: Social Power, Context & Interaction, edited by Patricia A. Adler and Peter Adler. Belmont, CA: Wadsworth. Apostolides, Marianne. 2008. “The Pleasure of Pain.” 207-212 in Extreme Deviance, edited by Erich Goode and D. Angus Vail. Los Angeles: Pine Forge. Goode, Erich and Vail, Angus D. 2008. “S&M: An Introduction.” 202-207 in Extreme Deviance, edited by Erich Goode and D. Angus Vail. Los Angeles: Pine Forge.Jackie. 2008. “The S&M Experience.” 220-225 in Extreme Deviance, edited by Erich Goode and D. Angus Vail. Los Angeles: Pine Forge. Plante, Rebecca F. 2008. “Sexual Spanking.” 212-220 in Extreme Deviance, edited by Erich Goode and D. Angus Vail. Los Angeles: Pine Forge.