Maintaining one's identity is important in the relationship. However, it is also important that a person leaves room for the influence of their spouse. Gottman says if spouses can allow room for influence, it will create deeper respect. This is generally effective in resolving cases associated with difficulties due to partners' refusal to share power (Gottman, 1999). Gottman argues that the happiest marriages occur when there is shared power and decision-making. It is important that couples do not accept influence as an expression of negative feelings toward their spouse. Holding in negative feelings from your partner is not good for a successful marriage. An important element is that a relationship requires a solid foundation for compromise. Additionally, spouses should be able to learn from each other in order to build a healthy relationship. Involving your partner in important decision-making leads to the development of a marriage made by intelligent couples