I Hate Cell PhonesLet me tell you: you chronic cell phone users, I'm really sick of you. I'm tired of having to listen to your stupid conversations while I walk down the street, sit in the park or wherever people sit in peace. I'm tired of having to watch out for you while you chat in a car too close to me, especially you vapid girls and young women with your attention away from moving several tons of metal along a road. I'm tired of having to maneuver my shopping cart around you while you're talking to someone on the other end about how damn cool cantaloupe is or whether you should buy Cheerios or Wheaties. I'm tired of hearing your one-sided chatter while I'm trying to enjoy a meal at a restaurant. Hey, I don't want to hear about your love problems, your work problems, your vasectomies or your yeast infections. I'm tired of the different "ring" sounds on your phones, all those sounds designed just for you. Lately, I've preferred the whine of the dentist's drill while I wait for my name to be called. Those of you who don't turn off your cell phone while you're in a movie and then answer the call - if you're not a surgeon waiting to do a kidney transplant, I think you should be taken to the street and beaten by six bikers injected with amphetamines. Those of you who are taking classes, try very hard to remember to turn off your cell phones because one day your teacher is not going to be able to control himself and is going to take your little chirping device and is going to reduce it to small pieces, then throw you sixty dollars in three 20s. Those of you who call me on your cell phone, leave me alone. frankly and say that I don't like it. Unless it's an extreme emergency or you're in a quiet place where others can't hear you, because it bothers me that these people are like me and don't appreciate being privy to a conversation that has nothing to do with them. — please wait until you have a “landline” to call me. And those of you who call me on your cell phone, if possible, make sure your batteries are new or your reception is perfect or, if not, that you are only calling to tell me something simple and brief , because trying to have a normal conversation while your voice goes back and forth annoys me quite a bit.