I've been preparing to do this for a long time, but today was the day I would finally do it. Now that she left me, I couldn't find the strength to do it anymore. I closed and locked my bedroom door and slowly walked towards my bed. Reaching underneath, I grabbed the spool of rope. The manila rope felt firm in my hand, but it also felt like the only thing holding me together. It's funny, how the tool I was going to use to kill myself was the only thing holding me back, but it's true. When I touched it, my blood should have run cold. I should have been rejected. But without her, I had nothing to hold me back, no one to help me with drunk Mom and Dad, and this rope was the only thing I had left. Unwinding the rope, I looked up at the dim light hanging from the ceiling. It hung from a dark metal rod; one that I knew would support my weight. My hands shook as I tied the rope around the light, then tied the end in a sturdy noose. If I went in, I would be hanging about a foot off the ground, suspended in death. Perfect. Can I really do this? I stood up in my chair. People die all the time, but people keep moving forward, right? So why can't I move forward too? I pulled the noose around my head, my hands shaking as I did so. If . . . If only I could do it again. If only today hadn't come. I could change everything. No one would have to die. I glanced at the clock and saw that its green numbers read exactly eleven o'clock. "I'll never get that second chance. I guess it just wasn't supposed to happen," I whispered. I hesitated – but only for a second – then kicked the chair, embracing whatever came next. I could feel my heart jump as the chair hit the floor with a thud. I suffocated myself, my lungs and my neck...... middle of paper...... and I was able to save Cathy. My vision became blurry. My lungs and neck burned more and more and dizziness set in. I deserved all of this and more. Death was approaching and this time, I was ready to face it. The rope suddenly broke. I fell and fell until I hit something soft, something throbbing. I found myself lying face down against what looked like a human heart. Impossible ! This couldn't happen! I hallucinated everything. . . RIGHT? How could this be real? Was I dying. . . Or did I really have a second chance? Even if it was a second chance, there was no way I could save Cathy. . . or was he there? A laugh escaped me despite myself. "Let's go. I'm ready." Almost as if in response, the heart gave a huge pulse. My whole body shook and, not knowing whether death or a second chance awaited me, I passed out, ready to face everything..