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  • Essay / Should we consider non-monogamy? - 1750

    Have you ever thought about cheating on your partner? Studies show that there is a 76% chance that either partner in a marriage will commit infidelity (Ferrer 55). In light of the frequent occurrence of infidelity in monogamous relationships in our society, wouldn't it make sense to consider the possibility that the dynamics of non-monogamous relationships might work for some people? The idea seems to be on people's minds, as it has also appeared in popular culture lately, in shows like "Big Love" and "Sister-Wives," both of which focus on polygamy, the practice of being married to more than one person at a time. Additionally, many articles have been written about polyamory, the practice of having more than one intimate relationship at a time with the knowledge and consent of everyone involved, and recently about non-monogamy. One such article is “Beyond Monogamy and Polyamory,” written by Jorge Ferrer, Ph.D., chair of the East-West Psychology Department at the California Institute of Integral Studies, and published in ReVision Journal. Ferrer's goal in writing this article is to expose readers, primarily other researchers, to the possibility of non-monogamous relationships and the concept of sympathetic joy. While I agree with much of what Ferrer says in his article, particularly his arguments about sympathetic joy, jealousy, genetics, and his responses to arguments against polyamory, his neglect of religions that do not support his theory, while using others to support his theory, weakens his argument. Ferrer first discusses the concepts of sympathetic joy, jealousy, and genetics as they relate to intimate relationships. He then goes on to discuss common arguments against politics...... middle of article...... Again, he fails to fully address the issue of religion. In conclusion, while Ferrer has presented a well-thought-out analysis- In this article which has achieved its goal, at least in my case, of opening the reader's mind to other relationship styles, he overlooks some areas. Our society is constantly evolving and with it the way we build relationships. Divorce and interracial marriage have become quite common and acceptable, while same-sex marriages are slowly moving toward this goal. This shows that people prefer to do what they think is best for them and makes them happy, rather than what societal pressures make them think they should do. By doing what makes us happy and what feels right, we slowly change society's opinion. You can't please everyone, so you might as well please those who are important to you, as long as you don't harm others...