The student uses slang terms, such as "to begin with" (line 13) and "kids" (line 83), which Brizee and Driscoll believe ( 2012), reduces the academic level of the essay. Other weaknesses throughout the essay include abbreviations of terms (e.g. "ads" for advertisements), lack of elaboration of acronyms (e.g. "SES" meaning socio-economic status), a poor choice of words, spelling mistakes and lack of fluency due to grammatical errors. Additionally, the student presents previous research in bullet point form. Because an analytical essay is usually written in a formal manner, the University of New England (nd) recommends avoiding bullet points. Obesity (Student n.d.) could be improved by correcting these weaknesses in the form of proofreading and spell checking, as well as expanding acronyms and using full words instead of