A main theme in John Gardner's Grendel is the constant competition of ideas of the meaning of life versus existentialism. Throughout the novel, Grendel experiences constant spiritual decadence to the point of denying any value or meaning to life itself. He believes that the world is nothing more than “a mechanical chaos of brutal and casual enmity on which we stupidly impose our hopes and fears” (16). This progression begins at a young age, and over the course of the twelve years of Grendel's life, he moves closer to fully committing to this theory. Because of the actions of his mother, the dragon, and man in general, Grendel ends up dying in the misery created by this belief that his life is nothing but programming, machines, and chance . As Grendel enters the world with the naivety and positive attitude of an ordinary child, he quickly learns that he will not live the life he imagined. He learns that he cannot communicate verbally with his own mother and sees the mechanical workings of life. This isolation initiates Grendel's inevitable separation from mainstream society, leading him to believe that he can never be part of something greater than himself. His lack of communication with his mother, the only person he is close to, initiates his psychological journey to fully give in to the belief of nihilism. This happens when Grendel, at a very young age, gets his leg stuck in a tree. At that point, he "turned as far as he could, searching wildly for her form on the cliffs, but there was nothing, or rather, there was everything except my mother" (14). This shows Grendel's radical separation from his mother and his desperation to receive her help and care, which proves futile. This separation... middle of paper... even as Grendel, frustrated, shouts, “Use your reason!” (122). The brain-dead creatures Grendel observes only support the Dragon's theories, and although Grendel desperately wants to see meaning in the lives of the creatures he encounters, he is left to witness the effects pitiful mechanism of the theory of life in which the Dragon. has him buried. At the end of Grendel's life, he dies surrounded by his main frustration, a group of animals he has seen throughout his life, only wanting them to claim their own lives. This final scene is depicted with a sense of relief, as Grendel finally leaves the life he has been trapped in, without any trace in his mind of meaning, significance, or belief system. Ultimately, Grendel's lack of a belief system causes his ultimate downfall and is his only way out of the confusing void he called his life..